Sunday, September 21, 2008


I realized today that all of us struggling through infertility are like veins. Veins support one another, transport, bleed, and are intertwined. You all are the veins in this journey, carrying me through when times are tough, transporting peace and hope, bleeding with me when my heart cries, reaching out when help is needed, and weaving your way into my life like you will never understand. Thank you for your support.

These past few weeks have been so busy, and I feel horrible for not commenting at the pace I usually do. I think things will be better in the upcoming weeks. Bare with me. I still adore you and often I am reading your posts; I just haven't had much time to comment.

My appointment at the doctor's on Thursday was interesting. I showed the doctor the whelps on my rear end, and he said I was developing an allergy to the oil in the Progesterone and Estradiol Valerate. He said he had another woman with a similar reaction, but she refused to tell him because she wanted to have a baby so badly and she feared he would take her off the needed medications. She ended up in the hospital because her throat closed in from an allergic reaction. Needless to say, he took me off both medications.

Apparently only 5-10% of patients develop this allergy. Go figure that I would be one of them. I have now been put on Estrace tablets twice a day orally and once a day vaginally in addition to a vaginal gel called Cronin twice daily. I'm not really sure if the intramuscular injections or this new regimen is worse. Doesn't matter- I'll do it in hopes of a baby. 

My doctor was pretty unkind to me Thursday evening when I had to page him because I couldn't find the Cronin after calls to three different pharmacies. My pharmacy ordered it, but it was not likely to be there until Friday morning or Monday. My doctor told me to continue calling pharmacies because I needed to take it that evening. He said I was bound to find it, even if I had to call multiple places. The doctor said he had prescribed it before, but that it was difficult to find because so few people needed it.  My awesome pharmacy must have heard the panic in my voice when I returned at 7:15 PM to tell them I needed the prescription note back because they called about fifteen places until they found a neighboring city that had it. Bless their hearts. I thanked them profusely and zoomed off to get the much-needed medication.

Babe was so ticked with my doctor he could hardly speak. He said that even if only 5-10% of our doctor's patients needed this medication, the doctor should know where it could be found. He wanted me to be sure and tell the doctor that if I got pregnant this month it wasn't because of him; it was in spite of him. Babe feels like 50% of my stress comes from the doctor and his staff. After he rattled off a list of times I had been upset with the clinic, I could hardly disagree with him. 

Anyway, I'm still praying Thaw and Hatch stay put, but my hope isn't as high as it was toward the beginning of this cycle. Guess we'll know Thursday of this week after the blood test. And no- I don't do the home pregnancy tests; I wait for the actual blood test results.

In other news, I have a new puppy cousin. My grandpa went and bought my aunt a new puppy after the incident with Riley occurred. The new puppy's name is Quincy; he is so darn adorable. As soon as I take some pictures, I promise to post them. Quincy came over for a play date this week, and he was welcomed by my two furbabies. I'm glad Quincy is a part of our family, but I know my aunt misses Riley dearly. She's still having a hard time with the guilt she feels for not taking good enough care of Riley- she says she doesn't deserve a new puppy. She also told me "the event" continues to play through her mind before she falls asleep every night. I think only time can heal her wounds and the horrible memories of the accident. 

Many of you told me I needed some rest, and you'll be glad to know I have taken it pretty easy this weekend. Yeah! Thanks for the advice.

Also, since I can no longer take Progesterone in Oil and Estradiol Valerate, I'd like to hold a contest to give away some extras I have for anyone that needs them. I have the following unopened medications to give away:

2- 50 mg/mL bottles of Progesterone in Oil
1- 20 mg/mL Estradiol Valerate
1- 10,000 Units of HCG 

I hope they can go to a good home and save someone some money. If you need any of these and would like to participate in the giveaway, please post a comment letting me know which medication(s) you need and then replying with an answer to the contest scenario:

Babe and I had some family portraits taken with the two of us. There are 175 pictures, and we ended up really liking more than forty of them. Our plan was to frame some of them and give them to parents and grandparents for Christmas. The problem is we feel like everyone may want a different pose... so we want a creative way to give family members the choice of pictures/poses. How do we present our individual family members with their options without having to print a zillion of every pose?  

Contest ends Friday, September 26 at 6:00 PM Central time, so make sure your entries are in by that time. You can comment as many times as you can think of ideas, and I'll pick as many winners as needed to get rid of all the medications. Make sure I have a way to get back with you, either via blog or email. 

I can't wait to hear your ideas! Even if you don't need any of the medications, you are more than welcome to participate too. I'll think of another prize for you if you win the contest. Thanks for all your help, friends!

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." (Carl Jung)


Just Me. said...

Well, I would be pissed off too with your doc! What a meanie!!! Don't worry about not posting comments cuz you need this time to rest up. WE UNDERSTAND. SUPERWOMAN UNDERSTANDS.

I have no ideas right now, sorry. My mind's in a brain fog. It's 6.30am and I'm snorting away cuz am down with the most horrendous cold. Hopefully the other girls will give you better ideas.

You take care now.

ps I bought the vintage Superwoman t-shirt in the end. I'll take a picture of it and post it by this week. hehe :)

Photogrl said...

I think you are spot on with the analogy of this community and veins. Beautifully put.

Babe might be right about your doc.

Thinking good thoughts for you...

Heather said...

Is there any way to get a set of proofs or a proofing CD and you can ask people which one they want and then just buy those?

Alex and Jill said...

I can always use PIO and Estradiol!

I would print off a variety of your favorite poses (if you are giving to 6 different people, print 6 different poses), go ahead and frame them and then wrap a festive ribbon & bow around them. When it's time to give gifts, sit them out for them to choose their favorite!

That's the only thing I can think of if you are wanting them to already be printed and framed for them to take home that day.

I'm sure they will all be happy with just having a pic of you guys, no matter how you decide to give it to them. :)

Shelby said...

Is there any way you can get the pics online? One idea: Kinkos does full color scanning and Flickr has free membership (just a limit on monthly uploading, but that limit is a lot). You can email family with the link for the pics and request that they comment and/or send an email on their favorite. Or you can just add the scanned images as an attachment and number each.

I'm still holding out hope for Thaw and Hatch. Glad you got your rest!

Tara said...

I would be annoyed with the doctor, too!!! Sometimes they can be so amazes me.

I am one of the lucky ones whose insurance covers my IF treatment, do I do not need the meds - you are super sweet to give them out!!

Ithink your best route would be to get them online somehow and let your family choose.

Good luck - I'm pulling for Thaw and Hatch (and you and Babe!!!).

Bri said...

Oh MY GOD! I totally forgot that I had that same thing and I didn't even tell you about it! That is crazy. There is progesterone in sesame oil and in cottonseed oil. I don't remember which one I am allergic to. That is so funy that I forgot about that! I would be that would have been good to know! I'm really glad your Aunt got another puppy! I am sure that will help her recover! But oh the potty training!

Bri said...

I wanted and forgot to comment on your doctor. I had a lot of frustrations with mine, too and I think it is really common. Much like my now frustrations with my social worker, I have to remind myself that, while this is my WHOLE life, it is "just" his job and while I'm sure he cares a great deal, it isn't quite as important to him. If it were, he would be so emotionally exhausted from investing so much into each of his patients. I totally understand, though, it is really frustrating and we WANT it to be important to them, too! Or at least pretend!

Evergreen said...

How FRUSTRATING to have to work so hard for your medication, and for your doc to be po'd that you paged him about it. Babe is right - he should have some idea on how to get it. Yay for your local pharmacy for pulling through for you.

I am glad you are taking it easy and rested this weekend.

Hi to Hatch and Thaw!

Lost in Space said...

Uggghh on the allergy to PIO. That doesn't sound fun at all, but I'm glad you told your doc and got it all figured out. I have never done PIO (as my RE uses Endometrin suppositories). Double ugggh for the frustration with your RE on finding the new med. They should have a set list of pharmacies with who carries what. Hugs for all your troubles and frustrations.

I don't really need any meds right now, but would narrow the pictures down to your 6-8 favorites and scan them. You can either email or snail mail them out to those you plan to give them to. You can tell them you are having trouble deciding on pictures and would love for them to vote on their favorite.

I'm sorry you aren't feeling as hopeful for Thaw and Hatch right now. The 2ww with progesterone can really mess with your mind. Hang in there and know that I'm sending all my good thoughts to you on Thursday. Maegan said...

Oh, it's all just so frustrating, isn't it? Why do women who have no desire to be a mother get pregnant so quickly? ...and then do not enjoy one second of the pregnancy, baby, etc. it just doesn't make sense.

I linked over to the Riley story and really couldn't finish it because I wouldn't be able to avoid a sob-fest. I too, had a young dog (2) get hit by a car and die...and someone else was walking him. The "what ifs" still go on today ...and that was 4 years ago now.

Really great post! I hope you get pregnant soon. Try not to worry about it too much ...I know, it's almost impossible :)

I Believe in Miracles said...

Cute contest. Since we've got insurance coverage, I think this should go to someone who doesn't...
However, I did want to say I'm sorry about the dr visit. He sounds like a pain. They mentioned possible allergic reations to progesterone because of the oil it's in - either seasame or olive nowadays (it used to be peanut).

The Baker's said...

I am so sorry, it sounds like your dr can be a pain some times,but I am glad that it was figured out.
I was thinking the same as everyone has with the picture idea.

I am praying for you and Babe that Thaw and Hatch stay put.I will check in on you later in the week, fingers crossed for you.

Mel said...

What a turd of a doctor, but thank goodness it was resolved. I took the crinone and it was WEIRD. It gets very chunky and accumulates up in there (TMI, I know) and comes out all together at some random time when you are peeing. Don't freak out, because I know I did the first time I saw it. It's gross, but it's less oily than the regular suppositories so I guess you just cannot win. Thank goodness your allergy was diagnosed!

poppy.f.seed said...

5-10% is a lot of people! stupid dr.

as for the contest- I agree that posting online would be a fun way to ask people to choose. Or, you could buy and wrap frames, and print out doubles of your 8 favorite pictures and let people choose on the spot. The most fun thing would be to tell a story with the photos, maybe have 5-6 in a row?
I could use PIO, and hcg, that is for sure. But, if they've been given out, no worries.