Thursday, October 30, 2008

Cheers: Halloweenie Party!

I'm headed out of town this weekend to see my BFF, "My Peah." She and her brother always have a big shindig to celebrate Halloween. I wasn't able to go last October because we were in the middle of an IUI with injectables cycle, but I am stoked about the party this year! I plan to drink enough for all of us, especially those of you that can't drink right now. Not that I'm a lush- I just love to celebrate good times and don't often have a reason to do so.

I'm going as a "biker" and will post pictures once I return. Everyone always dresses up for the party, and we hang out, munching on finger foods and playing Guitar Hero and pool. The year before last, I don't think the party ended before 4:00 AM. Yep, it's a BIG party! And, of course, I get to see my favoritest and bestest friend in the whole world. I honestly cannot wait!

Cheers to those of you that can't drink; I'll toast to you this weekend, spreading well wishes and luck, and cheers to those of us that can. May the witches brew drinks, treats and babies for us all!

"I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween." (Author Unknown)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

To cup, or not to cup: that is the question

  • 3 and 3/4 years
  • 46 months
  • 1,391 days
  • 33,384 hours
  • 2,003,040 minutes
  • 120,182,400 seconds
This is the length of time I've been dealing with infertility. No wonder Grief and I are battling it out, and he is winning. Grief has the upper hand in this fight. I recently let him literally pin me to the ground to the point where I could barely breathe. I am done with that. I don't want him in control, so I am finding new ways to gain my control back!

My latest adventure lead me to a Chinese herbalist and acupuncturist. Yep, it sure did. I read a book that said when you are searching for an acupuncturist in your area, you should make sure they are listed with the National Certification Commission for Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine. There were only two "doctors" listed in my area, and I knew of one of the facilities because I had received a wonderful massage there previously. I opted to go there, basing my decision on my one-time visit with them and the quality massage I received.

My initial visit lasted a little over two hours, and we discussed every aspect of my emotional & physical imbalance. The first visit with this lady was quite uncomfortable because I was asked to get completely naked (please don't try and visualize this) and lie face down on the massage table with covers on top of me. My Balancer, as I'll refer to her, proceeded to tell me about acupuncture and inserted the needles into different areas of my neck, back, shoulders, calves, and feet. In case anyone who is reading this has never tried acupuncture, let me tell you that I am not scared of needles but in most cases, I couldn't even feel the needles going in as they were being placed. There were a few instances where I felt a sting for about three seconds, but it went away very quickly. After all the needles were in place, she turned the lights down, played some soothing music, and told me to relax for a few minutes. I nearly feel asleep I was so relaxed.

When she came back in, she removed the needles and asked if she could try a procedure called "" on me. Now, let me give you some background- I was diagnosed with sc0li0sis when I was in 3rd grade. It is now severe scoliosis. I never wore a brace, but doctors wanted to perform a half-million-dollar surgery to put a rod next to my spine to straighten it. Not even a chance! But as a result of the scoliosis, I have seventeen or so vertebrae that have little to no padding between them. As you can imagine, my sc0li0sis gives me severe headaches and major back pain. Anyway, back to my story...My Balancer asked me if she could do this procedure on me, and I asked her what is was for and what it involved. She told me it was for chronic pain. It is a procedure where glass jars are lit on fire and placed to create a vacuum that pulls the skin into the jar to help separate the muscle; it also helps with circulation. Why not? I couldn't see anything since I was face down anyway?

My Balancer warned me that the suction from the jars could leave marks on my skin for a few days, and the ones that were the most red were areas where the was helping the most with pain and circulation.

So, I'm going to post a few pictures. If you are easily grossed out, these pictures might not be for you, but I wanted to show you what the end result looks like because it really freaked Babe.

*These two pics are the day the actual was done. The spots under my bra straps on either side are actually pretty tender right now, but those are the only ones that have been that way in the three times I have done this.

*This picture is two days after the was done.

And no, those are not perfectly round hickeys. Ha!

So, to finish my story, after the jars were removed and the complete, My Balancer asked me to flip onto my back and then proceeded with the acupuncture on my collar bone area, stomach, calves, and feet. I felt "lighter," if that even makes sense, but I wasn't sure it was worth the cost of the treatment the first time I went.

I have been to My Balancer a total of three times, and I am now hooked! It has done wonders for me- I sleep better, have less digestive issues, my back pain has been reduced drastically, I have less headaches, feel less stressed and I think it is also helping improve my attitude in general.

I will continue going as long as I feel like it helps. In the mean time: Grief, you better watch out! I am on my way back up and will soon be able to whip you with my hands behind my back!

"He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty." (Lao-tzu)

Saturday, October 4, 2008

A Fabulous Deal

Because Danielle is so cool, she is currently offering $20 off all her blog makeovers through October 10th. What a deal! Many of you have commented on the blog makeover that Danielle did for me, so I highly recommend you take advantage of this amazing deal AND donate to The Susan G. Komen Foundation at the same time.

Danielle also designed this beautiful button for Breast Cancer Awareness in October. Feel free to add it your blog too.I'm telling you- you won't regret your decision to have Danielle give your blog a face lift. She is one fabulous, amazing chickie!

Thanks again, Danielle! I respect your giving heart and amazing talent. You have given me great joy the past few days. Thank you for opening my soul to allow a new friendship to blossom. You rock!

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." (Carrie Bradshaw)

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The "New Do"

Whatcha think of the new do? Personally, I don't think my blog makeover could have come at a more perfect time, I tell ya. Danielle has done an absolutely amazing job, in my opinion. This girl totally rocks! She worked with me to design exactly what I had in mind, she was patient as I changed my mind and wanted to try new things, and she gave me ideas I wouldn't have thought of had she not suggested them. Her blog designs are very affordable, and she is donating a portion of each blog design from now until Tuesday, October 7th to The Susan G. Komen Foundation.  You should go get check out her site, get on her waiting list, and create your own blog magnificence so money will be donated to cancer research. Now! Go check her out! Seriously! NOW I said!

I could honestly go on and on about Danielle!  I have made a new friend in her and am actually working on a surprise project/idea for you all that she is helping create. I can't wait for it to all come together! Danielle, thank you so much for your help! I adore you and our new friendship!

Now, as for help with my contest- I'd like to thank all of you for your input! I have selected two winners: (drum roll, please)

Jill and poppy.f.seed. Ladies, thank you for your help and ideas. I have some medications to send you, so please email me your address. Jill, I'm going to send you a PIO and Estradiol. Poppy, I am going to send you PIO and HCG. Thank you again for your help. My email is

Babe and I actually decided it might be weird and self-indulgent to give the pictures of us as Christmas gifts so we sorta combined a few of your ideas. We decided to make a CD of our favorites to just give to everyone now. That way our family can pick what they want and have their own copies made. This works for us, and it seems less awkward than giving them as gifts. Thanks for your input and ideas!

As far as my failed cycle, I am trying to make the best of it. I feel really awful that I haven't even been able to talk to My Peah on the phone about it. I text messaged her and told her the results were negative, I couldn't talk because I was too upset (nothing against her), and needed some time to process. I feel like a total ass, but every time I even think about this cycle, I bawl. I feel like a blubbering baby. Why is it so difficult to move forward? And why am I treating one of my best confidantes like crap when all she wants to do is support me? If you're reading this, Peah, I love you and am very grateful for you and your friendship. I am just struggling. Struggling to get out of bed. Struggling to make it through the day. Struggling not to curse Aunt Flo, who arrived tonight with a vengeance. Things will get better. Every day, they will.

In the mean time, I am desperately trying to catch up on posts. Bear with me....

"When you're depressed, the whole body is depressed, and it translates to the cellular level. The first objective is to get your energy up, and you can do it through play. It's one of the most powerful ways of breaking up hopelessness and bringing energy into the situation." (O. Carl Simonton)