Monday, May 18, 2009

Decisions, Decisions

It's an odd place to be a pregnant infertile. In fact, typing these words seems like such an oxymoron. Pregnant infertile. While the name sounds impossible, I fall into both categories.

I've been contemplating what to do with this blog since getting pregnant. Do I keep it and risk hurting the feelings of my blogger friends who are still on their own path to motherhood? Do I inflict guilt when my "followers" feel like they have to read and yet they aren't in the same place as I am? Do I abandon the blog and my story and have others question what happened to me, not knowing how my story ends? Do I just stop posting altogether?

I decided the best option for me was to leave this blog up so I can continue following all my buddies. I'm not sure if I'll continue to post here or not; I don't feel like I've come to a peace-filled decision about that yet.

I am also going to start a completely new blog with a new email address for those of you that choose to follow. In warning, the new blog will be baby-related, show belly pics, and will be the story of our journey "after conception." The beginning of a new book, so to speak. And trust me, I won't be offended if you can't or won't follow. I truly understand and expect everyone to do what is best for them.

By keeping my old blog, this blog, I'll still be able to easily click over to your stories and post as "Hope2morrow." I'll be able to read over my thoughts and feelings as I battled the complexities of infertility. I'll also be able to see the support I was given and show support, encouragement and congratulations for all of you on my blogroll.

Now, because I have been so tight-lipped about our struggles with friends and family, I do have a favor to ask. If you choose to follow the new blog, please do not mention our procedures or anything we went through to get pregnant on that blog. It will strictly be for baby advice and warm wishes until (or maybe I should say if) we decide to mention treatments. Most of our family knows we have been trying for quite some time and the real story may come out some day, but we want the focus to now be shifted from our past to our babies. If you have questions about treatments or things of that sort, please leave a comment on this blog. I will check both emails regularly.

I specifically opted to create a new email address for the new blog so family and friends wouldn't be able to link back to this blog. I know someone will likely find us and read our story... I'm not naive enough to think it won't happen. I just prefer to make it more difficult than the click of a button. And since no one even knows I had another blog, maybe they won't even think about it.

This solution seems the most logical to me for now, and I hope it works well with keeping everyones' feelings in mind too. I am trying to be mindful- Boy, what a tight rope this is to walk!

So, the new blog is called "At Last" and the address is if you decide you want to pop on by and say hello. Otherwise, I will try my best to keep up with you via my blogroll here and at least pop in to say hello on occasion. In fact, I should be back here soon because I have some books to give away....... check back in the next week or two for details.

"This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.” (Anonymous)