Wednesday, September 17, 2008

FET, "Thaw" and "Hatch"

To begin, I'm sorry this post is choppy. I'm trying to give you all updates since you've been so kind and supportive, asking how everything went last week. I'm headed to bed early tonight so again, I apologize for the roughness of this post.

FET occurred last Thursday, September 11th. Two embryos were transferred- a 4BB and a 6BA. I have named them "Thaw" and "Hatch." One was literally described by the doctor as "hatching," hence the name "Hatch." The other- well, that one is self explanatory. Never named my embryos before, but it felt right to do so this time. 

Transfer went okay.  Doctor freaked about me driving myself and told me I should have called to ask him. I did; I called the nurse, and she said it was fine. Doctor forgot about the speculum after the transfer and almost left the room. I had to remind him he needed to remove it. Seriously. Not even joking.

Bed rest after transfer on Thursday.

Friday I worked my fingers to the bone. Later that night, I got a call that my aunt's new six-month old puppy, Riley, had been hit by a car (Her seventeen-year old dog died just before she got Riley). On the way over to Cindy's, my mom called to tell me that the puppy had jumped out the car window while she was driving in her neighborhood and hadn't survived. A neighbor who stopped to help my aunt called my grandma to tell her he was "very concerned" about "the lady" because she was hysterical. I was the first family member to arrive. Blood everywhere! She was literally covered in blood; it was one of the most horrific scenes I had ever seen. She was sitting on the curb, bawling, and holding Riley in a towel. The smell was awful. It was gruesome and sad. My heart ached for her. Apparently Riley jumped out her window while she was driving, and she hit him. Dogs are family members in our eyes. She lost a part of herself Friday nigh that she will never get back, and she blames herself for Riley's death.

Babe "took care of" Riley for us later that night, and I stayed with my aunt until about 2:00 in the morning. She is a smoker, and although she didn't smoke in the house while I was there, you could smell it rampantly in her tiny condo.

The longer I was there, the more stressed I became about the embryos and the shot I needed at 6:30 AM the morning. It was a bad, bad experience, but I wouldn't have left her alone for anything in the world. I don't regret my decision to stay, but I am concerned about the stress, the smoke smell, and my lack of rest so soon after the transfer.

Have been drinking a hot coffee-like beverage that my friend gave me supposedly containing no caffeine. I stressed the importance of no caffeine! Come to find out it has 79.8 milligrams of caffeine per serving. Dang it! Why was I stupid enough to not look the ingredient/nutritional information up until now?

Tired. Grumpy. Overworked. Concerned about the embryos and their survival. My stress is stressing. Ultimately, I know this is in God's hands and "whatever will be, will be,"  but this sure isn't looking good. I know the embryo(s) would attach despite all of this in a normal person's body, but I am not normal. Man, I could really use a break.

Doctor's appointment tomorrow AM to check my Estrogen and Progesterone levels in case adjustments need to be made to my meds. My rear end is very sore and "bumpy." Anyone else get large, red, raised areas from the Progesterone in Oil injections? I've never had them like this and am almost embarrassed to show my doctor. Maybe I can ask him about it in the morning.

More soon, I promise. And hopefully with better news.....

"Chaos is a friend of mine." (Bob Dylan)


Lost in Space said...

I love your names of your little embies! (: I can't believe you had to ask to have the speculum removed. Help a girl out, doc.

I'm so sorry to hear about Riley. Our dogs are our babies and I can only imagine how much your aunt is hurting right now. For what it's worth, I would have done the exact same thing you did. I would also worry over the exact same things you are, but I know there really is no reason to. It's what we do. If it weren't that, we would worry about something else.

There is nothing you can or can't do right to make this happen or not happen. You have done everything in your power. Your little embies are snug and warm deep inside and are oblivious to anything going on in your outside world. No worries.

I've never done PIO so no real assvice. I used to get lumps under the skin just from stim shots and massage with a heating pad afterward for 15 minutes seemed to do the trick. I hope it gets better.

Lots of luck and love being sent your way. Huge hugs.

Leslie Laine said...

So sorry about Riley - what a horrible situation! You were so sweet to stay and help comfort your aunt.

Try to take it easy on yourself. You are doing everything within your power to make this work, and that's all you can do.

I understand being so critical of yourself because I've done it every month for the last 23 cycles of my life (maybe it was the coffee I drank, maybe we didn't have sex enough, maybe we had sex too much, maybe I shouldn't have worked out, etc., etc.). This IF thing is hard enough without being so critical of yourself.

I hope you can take a moment just to think about all of the many things you do right to take care of yourself and your embryos. Those are the things to focus on.

Hang in there and do something for you...soon!


The Baker's said...

Wow, I can't believe that he forgot to take it out, Help me out here Dr.

I am so sorry to hear about Riley, your aunts dog. That could have happen to anyone. I know that it doesn't make it any better, I consider my two animals as part of the family so I can only imagine how she is beating herself up over it.That was very sweet of you to stay with her as long as you did.

Hun don't beat your self up, your embies are safe inside. I know that it is easier said then done I do it to myself all the time more then every since the loss. Keep your chin up, and take it easy. I pray that they will stick and grow within this time.

Tara said...

Wow - super stress. I can't believe the DR - sometimes it amazes me how me WE have to tell THEM.

I am so sorry about Riley. Our dogs are our babies and are so much a part of this family. I cry at the THOUGHT of losing one of them.

The names of your embies are so awesome! I will be and have been thinking about you.

Take care of yourself and get some rest!!!!

Just Me. said...

I'm glad that you got home ok. Like I said, if I were there, I'd take you there and back since obviously, I have nothing to do at home, but clean the house, go window shopping, buy groceries, read a book..ok, i am being annoying here!!! So, I will continue to pray for Thaw and Hatch. They sound so adorable already! :)

And so sorry about Riley!!! OMG! I don't know what I'd do without my furry baby. Brandy's a stubborn bitch but she's my baby to me. Yesterday she put her head on my shoulder and licked my face. Her breath was stinkos but I love her still. So yeah, I would have cried my heart out if anything were to happen to her!

Ok, WonderWoman, I'll be thinking of you.

ps Today I saw a vintage t-shirt of guess what?! SUPERMAN!!! And I thought of you... :)

alison said...

So sorry about Riley. :( That's unbelievably sad.

Don't stress about the smoke and caffeine and... You can't change the past, and know that you're not the only person who has sat in a smoke infested place while trying to get pregnant. I know this doesn't take away your worry, but I've "had" to be in pretty smokey places over the last few months, and I just trust that all is well. Sometimes you can't avoid life, and you certainly can't control other's choices to smoke.

Fingers crossed that those embies are sticking as we speak!

Heather said...

I've heard that caffeine should be limited to under 200mg a day. So I think you are ok on that front. But I think you need to be taking some naps and getting good rest, Girl.

I am so so so sorry about the dog. My dogs are my babies and I can't imagine how horrible it would be to run over one of them. My thoughts are with her.

melissa said...

You are in my prayers, and special prayers for hatch and thaw (that is awesome by the way)

I am eager to hear how things go!

Evergreen said...

Oh how stressful to have all those things going on right after your transfer, and yes "My stress is sressing". We try to do everything just right, and then others get preg while doing Meth (that's the joke around our house - I should at least start doing Meth, or at least smoking - because it sure seems to work for everyone else!). I hope you can take it easy for a few days here.

I too got a few big red spots on my butt from the PIO. Heat helped a little My hips hurt for 3-4 months whenever I ran anywhere. I'm not much help there -- sorry.

Cathleen said...

Woman...try to stay home and relax! I are doing the best you can. Poor puppy. I would be absolutely distraught if that happened to my baby too!

As for the PIO, I noticed the whelps when my husband gave me the shots too low... I think it missed the muscle and was more in my fat layer. I also noticed that heat helped. I would warm the shot with a heating pad pre-injection.

Love the names! I will be thinking and hoping and praying for Thaw and Hatch!

Bri said...

Wow, what a post! So much to comment on. I think it is really cute to name your embies! Too bad later on we won't know which one is which! Hehe! I'm so sorry about your auntie! We just got a new puppy and I can't imagine the absolute devastation of the event! I am sorry all of you had to endure that - but I will be sure to always have my window up. Don't stress too much about the embies. I don't beleive those little things matter. I know people that have gone on rollercoasters during their wait and gotten pregnant. Good luck! Snuggle in tight little hatch and thaw!

Bri said...

I didn't comment on the POI. I never experienced any redness or bumpiness from it (except some squirting blood - nice image, huh?) but every shot I took in the tummy I did get those. I would guess to say that it is normal - but ask your doc - I guarrantee he has seen much worse! I would try heat on them if they bother you.

Shelby said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about Riley. Your poor Aunt. How awful. That was wonderful that you were there for her, but I understand how half of you wants to be there for her and half of you wants to be somewhere else for yourself and the embies. I hope you are able to find some time to relax and kick back for Hatch and Thaw. Easier said than done when the stress is stressing, though...I know!

I Believe in Miracles said...

I'm praying for you, my dear...

Definitely ask your dr about the shots. That doesn't sound normal.

Alex and Jill said...

Hey girl,

Just wanted to stop by and check on you and I was happy to see an update.

I am so sorry about your Aunt and Riley...what an awful thing to happen.

A lot of doctors okay 1 cup of coffee a day while going through IVF, so I wouldn't let that worry you. You are's all in God's hands. He'll take care of those babies. :)

I experienced some raised up, red spots with the PIO every so often. They always went away though. If yours aren't going away, I would definitely ask your doc about it.

I'm praying for you!!

Take it easy, k? Get some rest if at all possible.