Sunday, July 27, 2008

HODGE PODGE, MISH MASH, AND PINK ROSES

Thank you. Thank you for your prayers, your well-wishes, and your words of wisdom. I am escaping the darkness and the negativity and moving toward a lighter, more hopeful place. Because I reached out to ask for help and because of your prayers, I am feeling much better. God has lifted me out of the darkness.

I have so many random things to discuss.... I'm going to number my thoughts so if you'd like to comment about one of them, you can just type the number and tell me your thoughts. That way, if you don't want to comment on all of them or don't have time, we can still hear your imparted wisdom.

1) How and why did you choose to be an anonymous blogger or non-anonymous blogger? For example, I post as "Hope2morrow" instead of my real name. Why? Why not just use my real name? I have a real picture of Babe and I on my blog and intend to add more pictures. Are there ways you can be tracked back to your house if your email address is listed or you have pictures of you and your family on your blog? I love seeing others post pictures of themselves and their families, but I worry about safety and security. Should I be concerned with safety and security, especially if I add photos of my family? Anyone have any thoughts, comments, or answers about this?

2) When you start commenting on another person's blog, but they never return the comments, do you stop commenting? Do you give it a certain amount of time before you stop or do you just quit commenting?

3) I have to see the light. I'm ready to catapult myself out of the sinister darkness. I started swimming toward the light and have been doing lots of projects around the house. I'll wait until another post to tell you about all of the projects, but I've been a very busy girl. I also have renewed hope and determination to move forward. Thus, I am going to try not to dwell on the past. I am going to continue pursuing my heart's desires for a child until I feel like it is time to stop. I am going to try and not look back. Instead, I want to learn from those mistakes, keep my eye on the prize, and be optimistic about our great chances of conce
iving. This is not to say I will not falter or have bad days, but this is my pledge to do my best to stay positive in a crappy situation. I know I am going through this experience for many, many reasons that I may or may not ever know. So, I'll climb the rope until I can no longer climb. 

4) I was given The Pink Rose Award by my dear friend Just Me. Just Me is hilarious, random, fun-loving, and a bit ADD. She and I have an ongoing joke about wearing our Big Girl Underwear (even on days we don't feel like getting out of bed)- she wears SuperWoman and I wear WonderWoman. I hope you visit her site to get a glimpse of her creativity, but be warned about her potty mouth. 

I want to pass the Pink Rose Award along to some wonderful encouragers:
     



Angie Smith at Bring the Rain is one of the most amazing, Godly women I have ever met. Well, I haven't officially met her, but I know her through her blog and have been reading her blog for many, many months. In fact, her blog inspired me to begin my own. Angie is uplifting, encouraging, real, and her posts capture raw emotion. I am a huge fan of hers, even if it is somewhat anonymously. I sit on the edge of my chair, waiting daily for her to post something new for me to digest.

I also want to honor Nity at I Believe in Miracles with this award. Nity is another wonderful Christian woman who encourages others and finds strength in a loving and unfailing God. She picks you up when you are down, gives you strength when you are weak, and is full of life. I am thankful she is my blogging buddy and can't wait for her to have a child; she will be an amazing mother!

Additionally, Wishing 4 One also deserves the pink Rose Award. This chick has amazing stories about Egypt, posts beautiful pictures of her surroundings, and shares laughter through her blog. She has been through a great deal trying to conceive and yet she still charges on with wit, humor, and a zest for life. 

If you'd like to pass this award on, here's how you can do it:
1. On your blog, copy and paste the award, these rules, a link back to the person who selected you, and a link to this post: "Pink is my favorite color." You will find the story behind the Pink Rose Award and other graphics to choose from there.
2.Select as many reward recipients as you would like, link to their blogs (if they have one), and explain why you have chosen them.
3. Let them know you have selected them for an award by commenting on one of their posts.
4. If you are selected, pass it on by giving the Pink Rose Award to others.
5. If you find that someone you want to nominate has already been selected by someone else, you can still honor them by posting a comment on their award post stating your reasons for wishing to grant them the award.
6. You do not have to wait until someone nominates you to nominate someone else.

5) And last but not least, I hope to have some great pictures and posts for you in the near future. Thank you again for your prayers and encouragement. I am honored to have my blogging buddies and thank God for each and every one of you.

"No matter what happens, keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you find that you have accomplished a purpose - not the one you began with perhaps, but one you will be glad to remember." (Anne Sullivan)

32 comments:

Just Me. said...

I'm gonna comment on all :)

1) I don't know why people choose to be anonymous. I have had a few on my blog. Well, maybe I guess they just don't want to be found out. (DUH!) For me, I want to really connect with another blogger friend so that she knows i'm real (i hope i'm making sense here!). Ok, here's my email address: infertilewhore@yahoo.com.au. Email me, I love receiving emails from my cyber friends!

2) Yeah, i thought I was the only one facing that!!!! I think after a while, i just sort of gave up commenting on their blogs. Maybe they just don't like me??? Oh well....

3) Ok, I smiled, just reading this. I am happy that you're starting to feel positive, and will be here to hold your hand if you falter. You go, WonderWoman!!!!

4) U're my dear friend too.

((((((((hugs))))))))

Kymberli said...

I'm too much of a blabbermouth to go anonymous. I didn't feel like always double-checking what I said to be sure that I didn't divulge any revealing information. I probably would have slipped up, anyway.

As far as comments are concerned, I tend to comment the most on the blogs of people who leave comments to me. However, if it's a blog that I enjoy reading, I usually comment if I have something to contribute whether they typically comment on my blog or not.

I'm glad that you are starting to feel better and are pulling yourself up. Congrats on your award, and thanks for passing it on!

Leslie Laine said...

I love your blog today. I was so moved by your July 12 blog, and it is great to see you feeling better today.

I also really appreciated your Anne Sullivan quote - it's absolutely perfect for me today!

As for commenting and anonymity, I love getting comments and I love leaving them. I've only been blogging for a couple of months, and it's been the single most therapeutic thing I've done for myself since this journey began almost 2 years ago. I leave comments when I am moved, and I try to always respond to people who leave comments for me.

I'm glad to hear you're in a better place. It's comforting to know that you were able to really be yourself in the blogging world even when you were down. Maybe that openness and the acceptance you received ultimately helped to propel you to a more positive space. Keep the faith!

l.

I Believe in Miracles said...

I am blown away by your kind words and sweet, sweet nomination. It has really been my privilege to be apart of your life and get to encourage you. I can totally see how God is continuing to give you his strength through this post. And it's amazing. I'm waiting for the day that we both can have our kids play together!!

Now to blog comments:
1 - I choose to be anonymous mostly because of my husbands wishes and because I was worried that people I knew IRL would find out we're having trouble. HOWEVER - the longer I've been blogging, the more I want to share certain things. I try to walk the line, but struggle daily with how to be real and honest without giving away totally my anonymith. Hubby thinks blogging is wierd and that we share too much information that doesn't need to be shared (i.e. his SA)... so to honor his wishes and to keep people from finding me... anonymous.

2 - I try to be faithful commenters on people's blogs that definately return comments. There are people who I've just given up on commenting, but whose blogs I'll still read. I do think everyone enjoys receiving comments, even if they don't respond. In that case - the joy would be in the giving, not the receiving.

3 - Wow!! YEAH!! I am so glad you can see the light and are able to focus on projects (can't wait to hear about them) and are realistic about the bad days and faltering. I think we all find those, but as long as the light is there, we can turn towards it out of our darkness.

4 - see comment above. AND THANK YOU!! I am so honored. You totally deserve the award too. I can completely echo that you have been a true encouragement to me with your honesty and kind words.

5 - can't wait to see pictures!!

**HUGS***

Alex and Jill said...

#1 I used my real name because I started my blog to keep my friends and family updated on our IVF journey and was lucky enough to make lots of blog buddies along the way. If they choose to talk about other things (like work, etc), that could be why they are anonymous...they could get in trouble at work for talking about that part of their lives. There is a blog that I read, where the girl actually lost her job for talking about her boss and co-workers.

#2 I have a bloglist and read through all of them daily. I comment on as many as possible but don't always hear back...which is fine because I mainly just want to be an encouragement to them. What we're all going through is a really hard thing. I thank God for 'meeting' the ladies that I've met on here...it's nice to talk to someone who is going through the same thing.

#3 I'm so glad you are feeling better. I have stopped by frequently to see if you had posted again. I've been praying for you, girl. Chin up. :)

Can't wait to see the pics!

*HUGS*

Cathleen said...

First of all, I am sooo glad that you are feeling better.

Now to the questions...

I have a blog identity but it is not very trackable to me IRL. I thought that it would bother when when all the fancy, schmancy online tracking...down to the street, would bother me, but it doesn't because I am not hiding anything from y'all. I am just trying to protect myself in the long run. I am extremly open about my infertility IRL, but my blog isn't a space that I would necessarily want family and friends to find if they googled me, ya know? As to pictures, I'm a paranoid freak. :)

As to the commenting, I do tend to comment less on blogs that don't return comments, but I still read along. Once I start reading, I have a hard time stopping.

As to 4, Yay You! and I have to agree. Thank you for being so encouraging to me.

Duck said...

1. We are not out of the infertile closet, therefore we are anon, and because I wasn't anon enough, I have gone private.
2. sometimes i comment on peoples blogs that comment on mine and sometimes I comment on blogs that don't comment ever on mine, for me, sometimes it takes a while to realize that I have a new reader and that I do not have their blog on my list - so there is a delay. Sometimes I just have nothing to say, if it's all cycle ivf pregnant stuff.

Heather said...

1 - I am semi-anonymous. I don't post my husband's real name or anyone else in my life - but Heather is my real name. If someone in my real life wanted to find me, I think they could.

I use a yahoo email address. I'm not too computer smart, so maybe it can be traced. I use a different email address for everything not blog related. For photos, I change the names of the file. So that it can't be googled. I don't know if that even matters or not but it makes me feel better to do it - because I send a lot of the same photos to family members or put them on my myspace page.

2- depends on the blog. If they have tons of people leaving comments and I feel like my comment is lost, I quit commenting. Some blogs I quit reading all together because I wanted a more personal experience. Other times I still leave comments because my name is generic and they may think I am someone else...I try to give the benefit of the doubt.

Lost in Space said...

First, I am so glad you are feeling better. (:

1) I mostly go by Lost in Space, but so many of my online friends from FF already knew my first name and I use it regularly on my blog without hesitation. I don't worry about being tracked too much and talk about work stuff as well as people I know IRL. I chose the option for my blog to not be searchable in search engines and hope this is enough. I also have a statcounter to check that IP addresses from my work or anyone in my home state (yes, the whole state) have stumbled upon my blog. I would probably switch it to "private" if either happened. I am more worried about having our IF status found out than I am about someone tracking to our house. I just don't think of myself as interesting enough for anyone to go through the trouble. LOL. I will put pics of me and the furbabies up, but not of my DH as he isn't comfortable with it.

2. It honestly depends on the person. If I know they are in an especially rough patch I will hang on for awhile to give all the support I can. At some point though, my feelings get hurt so I have to tailor back. It also depends if I come across their comments on other's blogs, but they still don't comment on mine. Then I just stop altogether because I figure they would probably rather have me go away.

3. I am thrilled to hear you talking so positively. It is so hard to stay optimistic all the time, but you are taking great strides to help yourself get out of a dark place. I will continue to pray for you and you keep on swimming toward that light, my friend. You will get there.

Mrs Woggie said...

Thank you for visiting me!
Let me see if I can answer your questions.

1. I'm not sure, I was once annon, and hid my blog from the world because I was ashamed. Ashamed of lots of things, my feelings, my infertility.

2. I'm not sure, I am sure I am guilty of that because I'm hopeless at leaving comments and replying to comments.

3. I aspire to be like that. To be positive to not think that it is all crap. I hope that only good things come out of your positivity.

4. Just Me, is a Gem isn't she. She's helped me out on my darkest of days by giving me a laugh.

That quote, sums up my life. It's a goodun!

And because I want to remember you, I'm adding you to my blog list.

Just Me. said...

I'm back again!

LOL to potty mouth and ADD!

You know me so well!!!

alison said...

1) Alison is a common enough name that I wasn't worried about being traced. But I call my husband j on the blog because if someone searched for "Alison and [j's real name]" you could find us with a bit of effort. I also have my blog email that is separate from my real, personal email - my blog email doesn't have my last name on it. But sometimes I'll email people from my regular account. It just depends how comfortable I feel with that person. It's probably possible for people to figure out who we are, but the chance that someone would want to is so small, that I'm not worried.

2)It depends how much I like their blog. When I started blogging, I was out reading new blogs every day and commenting like crazy. Some people returned comments, some didn't. It's more about if I feel a connection with their blog. Some people I think feel a connection with me more than I do with them, but I usually keep reading theirs, even if I comment less.

I'm so glad you're feeling better and coming out of the darkness. Hang in there, this too shall pass. *hugs*

Mel said...

1) I am semi-anonymous only for the sake of my husband. I hate for people to stumble across my blog and realize it's his wife. I don't mind people who know me knowing it's me, but some of my private inner thoughts about him and our marriage might be embarassing to him, you know?? Also, there were a lot of people that I didn't want to know about our situation, so I felt going kinda secretive was the best way.

2) I don't worry much about people who comment or don't with me, if I read a post I want to comment on I just do, even if I've never read the blog before. I always have my faithfuls, though. Those that I email with outside of comments, etc, and those people are my bread and butter.

3) Distractions are the best way to get out of the fertility rut-life is bigger than just babies, as hard as it is to accept. I hope that you can continue to see the light and know that I am praying for you. God has a plan and he will not fail you. I promise.

*hugs*

dmarie said...

1--I have some pics (if you look for them) but I don't use our real names. I don't really have a solid reason or anything I can back up with fact. I just have concerns and try to use good judgment.

2--Yes, I eventually stop, but usually continue reading.

3--Yay for the light :)

petridishbaby said...

I'm so glad you are feeling better. You seemed so sad in your last post. We can't control these crappy circumstances, but we can change the way we think/respond to them, and it sounds like you are on a better track now.

1 - I don't think that pics are going to do any damage online, privacy-wise, so I wouldn't worry about that. Alot of people keep their blog a secret because IVF is a secret, and/or they are venting about friends and family online.
2 - I read blogs that I am interested in reading, and comment when I am so moved. If someone stops commenting on my blog, and I am not much drawn to theirs to keep up the reading, then yes, I would just stop. I would give them some time, I guess alot of us in the IF world prob have things that come up (procedures/depressions/etc) that would prevent us from being an active online participant.

Congrats on your pink rose!!

Wishing 4 One said...

hey girl, wow what can i say...thanks! i want to give my thoughts on your questions and will but just got home and to say hey and thanks a million for the pinky. Not sure I deserve though do i? Anyway you are such a sweetie, i love that you're feeling better and will be back soon to comment again. xoxoxoxoxo much love.....

CTagsGirl said...

Beautiful quote...what a perfect choice. I don’t think I’ve had a chance to thank you for taking time to comment on my blog...so a big, belated thank you for your words of encouragement.

2.)I try to comment on as many blogs as I possibly can, and I definitely like to give feedback when someone takes time to leave me a comment or question. However, my blogroll seems to be growing on a daily basis (so many talented writers!) and I really value my employment, so I ofen have to tear myself away to do some real work during the day when I'd much rather spend the time commenting!

4.)I also LOUDLY second the Pink Rose Award for I Believe In Miracles. She’s such a faithful blog buddy and always knows just what to say. She’s amazing.

So glad you’re feeling better…sending you lots of *hugs*

The Baker's said...

Hey hun, I am glad that you are feeling and going better. I love your little inspirational quotes at the end of each post, it makes my day and makes me think.

1. I wouldn't be to worried about people tracking back to you from pics or email.I think that you are ok.

2. I don't always comment, cause I don't know what to say. I have my regulars that I check on and can't wait to see what is going on in their lives.

I just want to say thank you for the encouraging comments that you left on my blog as we are going through a rough time in our losses.
hugs.

gracechild said...

1. I blog anonymously because my blog is like my secret diary. I think that one day I will give the link to my nearest & dearest so that they understand but for now... I am anonymous for privacy & parania sake
2. I comment on blogs I like regardless of the response I get ... though I'll confess that when someone isn't responsive, I lose interest eventually or become more of a reader than a commenter. On my blogroll I have 3 categories (just like in real life) people who give me more than I give them, those who give me less & the few that we seem to have a mutual give-n-take relationship
3. I'm really glad to hear you're pulling through. You were high on my prayer list for a while. God is indeed faithful & I am proud of how you're handling yourself in Him.

Wishing 4 One said...

thanks so much for your kind words for Florenzo...he does love us I think as much as we love him. I will update later...thanks so much again, means alot! xoxoxoxoxo

Jane said...

I write somewhat anonymously. Jane is not my real name, though Duchess and Jane both have a long story that is intertwined with my real life - it's not something that I just made up one day. I post photos of my family, myself, my house, and I write with a lot of detail that makes me less than anonymous. The true reason that I don't write under my real name is simple - Google. I don't want to be sitting down for a job interview one day and have the person say "So, we found your blog . . . " Hence, Jane.

As for commenting - when somebody leaves me a comment, I mark their blog in my feed reader and I follow for a few weeks. I don't comment just to comment back. I will read and see what catches my attention. If a few weeks pass and nothing catches my attention, I delete the feed. If I've visited the site a few times and left comments, I add the feed to my permanent collection and it shows up on my blogroll.

Anne said...

Thanks for your comment! One of the best things anyone ever said to me during my 5 years of IF was, "don't spend so much time looking for a child that you lose yourself." I think you're on the right track reminding yourself that "its not the end of the world..." Best to you.

Amy said...

1. I’m na├»ve and it drives my husband batty; he would never post pictures of us or write under his real name. He also believes in randomized computer generated passwords. I don’t doubt that he has a point, but I choose to ignore it.

2. If I like someone’s blog I’ll comment away. I don’t expect them to comment on mine, but if they choose to, I’m quite pleased!

3. I feel the same way…it’s time to stay positive. Thank you for that reminder, and I’m glad to hear that you’re back to climbing. When you get tired, just ask, and we can pull you up for a while so you don’t have to stop.

Maria said...

1) I chose to be open about my real name and post pictures mostly because I gave friends and family access to my blog. Plus, I never divulge anything to familiar so I feel pretty safe. But if/when I get pregnant I may go private with my blog.

2) I usually stop commenting on a persons blog that never comments back. I believe it's a give and take.

3) I'm so glad you're doing so well. It just goes to show you the power of prayer and self determination. Whenever I'm down, I do a lot of home improvements.

Love the quote, so perfect.

Rachie Pachie said...

Aww, just lost the comment I posted... :(

Anywho just mentioned that my personal blog for family/friends is not as anonymous, although I don't post full names or locations. The people that check generally know how I am. They can link back to my IF blog (which has been neglected lately) if they want.

Commenting is less structured for me. Sometimes I comment just to make sure the writer knows I'm reading/checking in/thinking about them, sometimes I don't comment. I usually comment on my regularly checked blogs since I feel more of a "relationship" with them & I always try to respond to people that take time to comment on my blog. Lots of my family members don't leave comments on my blog, but I still comment on their's. I guess it just depends on the blog & how I'm feeling! :)

Really wishing you get a bit of hope to brighten your day right now. Thanks for all the encouraging comments!

The Rebound Girl said...

Welcome to the light! I blogged anomynously but I am sure someone could figure it out if they wanted. I have issues with security online and all that.

T. said...

Here are my responses to your #1 and #2 questions:
1) I needed to be an anonymous blogger in order to feel safe talking about my true thoughts. After I became more comfortable, I told a few people that I know IRL about the blog. I am not yet willing to post a real picture. I am not concerned with security- just anonymity.

2) I comment when I have something useful to say. I read a lot more blogs than I comment on. I don't expect anyone to "return" the comment.

Glad you're feeling better!

Evergreen said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. The Anji CD I was referring to on Riding the RollerCoaster is from www.anjionline.com or http://www.anjionline.com/index.php

I have used the IVF CD and The Fertile Soul CD and have loved them both.

I will comment on your topics later, I am running out the door, and wanted to answer your Q, since it's been a few days.

:-)

Shelby said...

Hello!

Thanks for stopping by!

1) I am anonymous because I wanted to say whatever was on my mind, no holds barred, without fear of having anything misinterpreted by people in my life. Let's just face it: those who don't live IF don't fully understand it, and this is what I face in real life. In my non-anonymous blog, I find myself editing to the point where I wasn't really saying anything at all. I think I'm more private than I realize, but I still long to connect. I guess, in the end, it's just safer for me.

3) I'm trying this, too. It's about time for me!

4) Oh my. I must find me some Wonder Woman underwear stat!

Love your blog!

Jill said...

1. I have pics and post with real names and family pics, so obviously nothing about me is anonymous. Never thought about safety or security concerns. I suppose if something happened, I would shut down my blog (or make it available to only invited guests).

2. Depends. If they were people I've known for a while, I still comment from time to time on their blogs. But, if it's someone I don't really know and I'm not getting any "love" on my site, I usually stop checking their blog.

Look forward to seeing your pics!

Rachie Pachie said...

How ya doing, girl? Just checking in on ya since you haven't posted recently... feeling any better? Hope so.

whataboutmyeggs said...

1. I think I choose to blog anon. b/c I feel like I'm not ready to reveal the "whole" me. I still keep thinking that this whole IF thing may not be real if I don't fully acknowledging it, and if I don't put a face to my blog, then maybe I don't have to fully accept the defeat and hurt of infertility.

2. I remain to comment on a person's page even if they don't respond to them just so they feel that even in their darkest feelings and emotions there is someone, though faceless and nameless is routing for them.

3. GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!

I really do enjoy reading your blog. Although I wish we didn't have to have "this" in common, it offers great support to know that I'm not alone in the feelings that I have. Believe it or not, blogging, and reading others blogs has helped me stay sane in this cruel world.